It’s All Maya!

If Life is an illusion, then why do I keep banging my head against the wall?

Si la Vie est une illusion, pourquoi je n'arrête pas de me taper la tête sur les murs?

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Where Was I? – Anywhere But Here!

May 12th, 2009 · 7 Comments

Anywhere But Here!

Nine years ago I went to get a pair of new eye glasses when the optometrist told me that it looked like I had a Optometristtorn retina in my left eye.  He told me I should go see an optomologist to be sure.  Needless to say, I made an appointment the next day!  The optomologist told me what I feared most; that indeed I had a torn retina and needed to have an operation immediately.  Did I believe him?  Yes, and no!  I wanted another opinion, so I went to see a specialist, he too told me the same thing, but I didn’t want to have an operation!  I had never been sick in my life, except for the occasional cold or flu.  So I went to see one of the top specialist in the country and he confirmed what everyone else had said, there was no escaping it.  If I didn’t have the operation, the top specialist told me, I would go blind in my left eye!

He wanted to schedule my operation immediately.  Well, you would think that I would have taken him at his word, but I didn’t.  I told him I couldn’t do it right then, I had made plans for a long trip Eye surgeryoutside the country and I couldn’t postpone it.  He told me he was also leaving the country soon to do pro bono work in Peru operating on people in remote villages.  He told me if I started to lose my peripheral vision I needed to have the operation immediately!  I decided to go to one more specialist to see what he thought – yes, I’m a stubborn mule!  The last specialist told me, “If Dr. Top Specialist is willing to operate on you now, do it!  If I needed an operation, I wouldn’t want anyone else but him working on me!”  So I succumbed to the obvious.  I told the top specialist to schedule the operation.

I asked him if he could maybe do laser surgery, but he said no, unfortunately he would have to cut.  I told him I wanted to be put to sleep so that I wouldn’t be conscious of anything!  He told me that he could only do a twilight sleep so that I wouldn’t risk jerking awake during the operation.  I would be drowsy, but conscious!  The day of my operation I was wheeled into the operating room, they clamped my head so I couldn’t move; they then clamped my eye so it wouldn’t move.  Why, I kept wondering, couldn’t they have knocked me out! 

Un Chien AndalouHe was talking to the nurses in the o.r. about his trip to Peru as they were preparing to operate.  I wanted him to stop talking and concentrate on me.  I tried to open my mouth and tell him, but I could only moan.  He said, “That’s okay, relax.”  Relax!  How could I relax when he was coming at me with a little sharp knife aiming for my eyeball?!  I remember thinking, How in the hell did I get myself into a Luis Buñuel/Salvador Dalí film?!!!  He cut, but that wasn’t the worst of it!  It was when he started stitching….the needle and thread going into my eye and back out, in and out, and I remember thinking, Anywhere but here!  My God, couldn’t I be anywhere, but here?!

Maya Muses:  I recovered nicely about a month later and you can’t tell by looking at my eye that I ever had the operation, but I would never want to go through that again!

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Where Was I?

Take two pills!Almost a year ago I saw a doctor who told me I had to have a biopsy done.  Do you think I learned my lesson the first time around, of course not!  I saw another doctor to see if he had the same opinion!  Well to make a long story short, six doctors saw me including (I’ve been told) the number one specialist in the world and they all came to the same conclusion, I needed to have a biopsy!  So I finally scheduled it yesterday.  This time around the doctor wanted me to be sedated, but I told him I didn’t want to be sedated unless I really had to because I hated the feeling afterwards, so he gave me two pills instead. 

I was told to take the two pills a half an hour before I was scheduled to go in.  Harriet, a friend of mine, Where did the time go?took me to my appointment.  We were sitting in the waiting room and I was looking at a magazine and reading an article about Scotland.  I remember thinking Scotland was one of the most beautiful places I have ever been to and then I thought, Hmm, I’m getting drowsy…. And that’s the last thing I remember!  One minute I was sitting in the waiting room at two in the afternoon and the next thing I remember is I woke up in my chair in my living room at seven in the evening!

The strangest thing of all is, according to Harriet, I was functioning the whole time!  I apparently signed my name on my credit card to pay for the procedure, I got into the car for the ride home, I got out of the car and up some stairs and even carried on a conversation with Harriet and took an Advil for the pain and swallowed it….all this without a single memory of doing any of it! 

Maya Muses:  It is the weirdest sensation to know that I was talking and walking, and yet I have no recollection of five hours in my life!  All day long today I kept asking myself, Where was I?  Not only that, it’s scary what two little pills can do!

Photo Credits:  Flickr

Tags: Is Anyone Listening? · Miscellaneous · Uncategorized

7 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Harriet // May 13, 2009 at 10:13 am

    Hey Lynn,
    You were functional, but one could tell that you were definitely in la-la land and not too stable on your feet! It is amazing that you have no memory of anything you said or did……..now let me see, what was that comment you made about Patrick………….just teasing…………

    Glad that everything went well and that there are no other side effects from the medication.

  • 2 Deena // May 13, 2009 at 12:14 pm

    OMG the 1st sounds like a nightmare and the 2nd does sound scary! I’ve been sedated, but I’ve passed out right before the operation and woke up right afterwards. Glad you recovered from both!

  • 3 Lynn // May 13, 2009 at 3:29 pm

    Thanks Harriet! Whatever I said, it wasn’t me! LOL!

  • 4 Lynn // May 13, 2009 at 3:32 pm

    Thanks Deena, me too, ….and the only thing you don’t remember is the operation itself, but this was totally different!

  • 5 patrick // May 13, 2009 at 10:28 pm

    Yeah!! I don’t care if it wasn’t really you, but I still want to know what you said about me……(Harriet I’m afraid you opened a can of worms!….:)

  • 6 Lynn // May 14, 2009 at 2:11 am

    Only wonderful things, cheri….you know that! LOL!

  • 7 Where Was I? - Anywhere But Here! | laser eye surgery // May 14, 2009 at 4:29 am

    […] View original post here: Where Was I? – Anywhere But Here! […]

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