It’s All Maya!

If Life is an illusion, then why do I keep banging my head against the wall?

Si la Vie est une illusion, pourquoi je n'arrête pas de me taper la tête sur les murs?

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Loudness & Laughter

June 17th, 2013 · 8 Comments



Anyone who knows me knows they can’t accuse me of speaking softly.  Unfortunately!  And when I laugh?  Well, let’s just say I don’t go unnoticed, but let me start this post with a question.  Am I the only one who has trouble seeing their true body image?  I don’t think so.  I think many of us see ourselves very different than what we really look like.  This brings me to a conversation Patrick and I had about how big (or not big) my butt was.


A week or so after that conversation we were walking down the street and a girl passed by who’s butt was about the size I thought mine was.  So I asked Patrick, “Is my butt as big as hers?”  Well, the girl quickly spun around and looked at the two of us!  I couldn’t believe she heard me!  She had been several yards ahead of us talking to some guy and not only that, I had lowered my voice when I asked Patrick the question.  Patrick’s reaction was to pretend he didn’t know me and I was some crazy lady talking to herself!  (Oh yes!)  Later he told me after she stopped turning around a few times, that “…no, your butt isn’t as big as hers.”  And “No, you didn’t lower your voice, it was still loud!”

I felt sorry for the girl and wanted to say, “No, you don’t have a big butt!”  And she didn’t.  It was the way I so eloquently phrased the question that could have made her think she did.


Okay, so did I learn my lesson?  Well, yesterday was a perfectly beautiful day and people were out in droves.  Again Patrick and I were walking around Paris and a couple comes out of their apartment building.  They both had on roller blades, but it was the girl’s attire that made me comment.  (Oh yes, I’m a slow learner!)  She had on jean shorts cut so short that a pair of Daisy Dukes would have looked like something her granny would have worn.  Yes, that short!  (Think jean thong and you’re closer to the image.  All right, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit.  But, just a bit!)


Now if she was rollerblading at Venice Beach, yeah, why not?  (But, Paris Plage hasn’t happened yet.)  This time I let them get far enough ahead of us and I turned to Patrick and said in a low voice, “Couldn’t she have cut her shorts any shorter?”  Well wouldn’t you know it, she whipped herself around and stared at me.  Oops!  I was ready to turn and look around myself and see who could have been so bold as to say that.  Instead, I looked at her and started laughing.  Not at her, but at myself because I truly had made an effort to lower my voice and apparently it hadn’t worked.  Poor girl, just like the first one she turned around a couple of times and poor Patrick once again went off in another direction!

What can I say?  Even my low soft voice ends up being louder than most people.



Funny how laughter is contagious.  After that second incident, Patrick and I went to sit at the Café Louis Philippe and we couldn’t stop laughing, which led to other funny memories.  One of the best is when we were at home having dinner one evening and listening to Nina Simone sing, I Love You Porgy.

I told Patrick, “That’s one of my favorite songs she sings.”
Patrick said, “Yeah, but that’s from Gershwin.”
“I know.”
“It’s from that opera.”  I could see he was starting to think about the name.
“Uh-huh”  I agreed.
“It’s that opera, you know.”  He’s still thinking.  “Oh yeah,” he says, happy he now remembers the name.  “Piggy Knows Best.”


I swear I almost choked to death, I was laughing so hard!  Tears and stomach hurting – the whole shebang.  He comes up with so many priceless sayings!  That was a few years ago, but even today if we hear a song from Porgy & Bess we can’t stop laughing.


Okay, so back to yesterday.  We’re sitting outside at the café and Patrick says to me, “You look good in white, you should wear white more often.”  As many people know, I’m almost always in black, but since it was the first warm day of the year, I decided to wear a white linen shirt.  (Black pants of course.)

Patrick had on a pin stripe pair of black cotton pants, so I told him, “Well, I like your pants.  They’re dandy pants.”
“They’re what?”  Patrick touches his pants.
“Dandy pants.  You know what a dandy is, don’t you?” I ask him.
“Yes, of course.”
I wait.
He looks at me and says, “Crocodile Dandy!”

Maya Muses:  I swear I think he’s trying to kill me!  I almost choked on my wine.  It was the last thing in the world I thought he would say.  I didn’t just laugh, I gauffawed and as I said at the start of this post, it wasn’t a soft snicker.  Oh no!


Photo Credits:  Speak Softly, Daisy Dukes, Cafe Louis Philippe, and Google Images

Tags: HaHaHa! · Paris - Paname · Special Moments

8 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Pam // Jun 17, 2013 at 5:04 pm

    LOL funny! Tell Patrick I said thank you for brightening up my Monday!

  • 2 Lynn // Jun 17, 2013 at 8:29 pm

    Thanks, Pam, I will.

  • 3 Jon // Jun 18, 2013 at 10:03 am

    Funny man, Patrick….but Lynn, could there be a little jealousy in your comment to the girl in the DD? Just saying….

  • 4 Lynn // Jun 18, 2013 at 6:31 pm

    Hmm, not really, Jon, but I can understand you thinking that because I even told Patrick, if I was her I would have turned around and said (to me), “What? Jealous?”

    The thing is, I didn’t plan on her hearing me, I said it to Patrick because I knew he would have a funny remark to make. Something like – “Not short enough for me!” Lol.

  • 5 Harriet // Jul 2, 2013 at 6:33 pm

    I’ve forwarded your blog to Richard. Just love it when something is so funny that it makes me laugh out loud. Hey — I’m on a serious diet, so I hope my derriere will be a little smaller the next time you see me! And no wise cracks from Patrick!

  • 6 Lynn // Jul 4, 2013 at 11:52 am

    A friend on Facebook commented that she “…exploded in laughter…” when she read the post. I told her the funny thing is, Patrick isn’t even trying to be funny and that’s what makes his comments so hilarious!

    No need to worry about your derriere, it’s fine as it is. (That’s my comment, I’ll let Patrick comment on his own!)

  • 7 Patrick // Jul 8, 2013 at 11:38 pm

    No comment from me, I know better!

  • 8 Lynn // Jul 9, 2013 at 7:43 am

    Haha, I should have a little thumbs up sign, like the one on Facebook.

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