Don’t ask me how I got to reading a post about an American girl living in the suburbs of Paris, because I truly can’t remember. (Sorry, but that’s how it is when you reach my age!) Anyway, I left a comment on her blog and boy did she and one of her readers take it wrong! Why? I don’t know, afterall, I’m just some person in cyberspace that is stating my opinion, so what bearing does it have on her life? None, I would imagine! I did tell her to delete my comments if they bothered her so much and I went back to see if she did. Instead I found her referring to my comments on her new post! So I said, if she’s willing to talk about it, so am I.
The post where all the trouble started talked about an encounter that she had on the Métro. She sat down next to a French guy that she found attractive and she noticed he was reading the same book that she was, so she tapped him on the arm and struck up a conversation with him. After exchanging niceties about the book, he asked her what she did and she replied she was an English assistant. He said he was taking English classes for his job, and the conversation went on until she realized the next approaching stop was hers. She mentioned it to him and gathered her things, and they said goodnight, and that was it.
It’s after she got off the Métro that the mood of her post changes and she speaks about the emptiness, the bitter disappointment that she felt because they hadn’t exchanged phone numbers or set a rendez-vous to meet again. Where was the romantic ending that you always see in films she wondered. As she walks away she tells herself that it wasn’t suppose to end this way. She then says (to her readers) “I know what you’re thinking, because I have been thinking it myself:” but this is where she is so wrong! What she’s thinking is probably not what many readers are thinking. (Or not what I was thinking in any case!)
She says that signs are for suckers and she’s sick to death of signs. She beats herself up with I should have done this, and I should have done that. I should have given him my phone number, asked him out, pretended my stop was somewhere else further along, and on and on…. And then she concludes that she had done everything she could and it wasn’t enough!
Now some people left optimistic comments like, “Oh you’ll run into him again!”, but one person told her, “Um, he could have gotten off with you…” which was exactly what I was thinking, so I left a comment saying that I agreed with that person. I told her when a French guy is interested in you, believe me he will make that move and I gave her a few examples of the crazy things they do.
She wrote back saying, you’re right Lynn I’m too optimistic, too self-confident and then she says something like, Ha! You don’t know me at all. So I wrote back, no you’re right I don’t know you at all, but having spent more than half my life in Paris and having dated more Frenchmen than I care to mention and living with four of them, I think I know Frenchmen.
I did tell her I was sorry for being so blunt and that it wasn’t my intention to be mean, but most French guys will make that move if they’re interested. (Now this is where I think I got her upset.) I told her if a guy doesn’t make that move, he’s just not that into you. I said, don’t take my word for it, ask several of them and see what they say! I did tell her, however, that who knows, maybe she was right and he could have been one of those rare French guys that wanted to make a move, but didn’t know how! Hmm! Actually I should have told her to stop wasting her time with regrets about something she can’t change. She couldn’t go back and relive that scenario, so why beat herself up?!
Another girl left a comment that more and more young French guys are really shy and not so bold as their predecessors. (Boy am I happy to have been born when the predecessors were in full swing! Otherwise, I wouldn’t have all these great memories!) It did, however, get me to thinking if that were true, how would a really shy French guy act? So, of course, I asked Patrick who was somewhat shy when he was young and the other shall remain nameless because he is young and somewhat shy. They gave me great insight.
Their conclusion was the same, the man on the Métro probably wasn’t interested or if he was, he wasn’t available so he didn’t make a move on her. Well that offended one reader and she told me to stop making this lovely encounter into a “bloody meaningless pulp”! She went on to say that I had tarnished this sweet encounter and had given it a bad name! I mean come on! It was a 20 minute conversation with a little flirting at best and now it’s a bloody meaningless pulp! What?! Now she has to tell her future children, “Oh, and this is how I didn’t meet your suppose to be father.” Give me a break! Is everyone living in Mayaland?!!!
So I said, sorry - delete my comments and I won’t post again! I mean, what could I say? (Nothing! I had apparently already said too much!) Well, as I mentioned at the beginning of my post, I went back to see if my comments were deleted, or if I was going to be massacred by her faithful readers and much to my surprise, someone actually came to my defence, or rather the defence of everyone having the right to state their opinion. Then another person said (which I was waiting for and not disappointed) that I was a condescending ass! Why….for giving my opinion? No! For giving an opinion that didn’t agree with all the lalalalala they feed her! Opps! Sorry, I didn’t know we were suppose to contribute to her delusion!
On her latest post, that’s where I saw her referencing my comments, she was talking about all the unsuccessful encounters with men in her life. I truly think the problem is not how she looks physically. From the small photo of her balancing a ball on her face (!?! Yeah, I don’t get it either!) she looks like she’s pretty. (Patrick thought she was cute.) I think if she’s having problems with men it comes more from the vibrational energy that she gives off as someone who is waiting for things to go wrong, or someone who knows she’s going to get hurt….and so she does.
Maya Muses: We are told that we create our own reality in this so-called world by what we think, and more importantly by how and what we feel. So then, is it really of any surprise that reality quite often meets our expectations?!